The House of Maryam Creative Center

Written By La Luz

Most people fear death. Death is a natural part of life, it is a rebirth.

It’s only natural, death. The way it’s portrayed on television and in culture is usually in a way that is foreboding or scary, and something to be feared. But I’ve witnessed death up close, and I know that there’s peace on the other side of it. Death is something that happens to us all. Every day we live we are walking closer to death. Yet we cling to life, and that is the personal albatross we must overcome.

Fear of death is the prime link to ego.

We all have a sin that we struggle with. For me, at times, it has been pride. Pride, for me, often manifests as rebellion and total self-reliance. I would argue that today, many people feel that way. No one trusts anyone so they do not have the desire to rely on anyone.

These beliefs can come from trauma, a prideful love of self, fear, or many other reasons. However, as I have deepened my spiritual journey, I have been tested in the realm of my pride. My biggest fear is being held to the naivete, traumas and belief systems of my past which were adopted from me passively existing and not actively participating in my life.

There is no love like the love of God, It’s merciful, and can be triggering.

I don’t believe that people truly want you to know that you are loved by God. It’s the reason that we can stand in judgment at all times and call ourselves “love” and “Christians.” I believe it is because we do not fully grasp our position as perpetual wrongdoers that are being held back from exercising full on sin, because of grace and mercy. Yet, it is when you come into the full knowledge and understanding of Christ transformational power, and how he loved people into introspection and ultimately change — it is terrifying. We say to ourselves, “I can’t be loved, look at all I’ve done.” However, the goal of life is reconciliation love, and therein lies your redemption. No matter what your belief system, and I respect them all, the goals are love, peace, protection, healing: But most of all Love.

When they say, “Christ died for us,” I feel that he was forced to surrender.

“אלהי אלהי למא שבקתני (Aramaic) Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani”

— -Jesus on the Cross, “God, why have you forsaken me?”

He was broken down, persecuted, isolated, physically beaten, and betrayed. His crime? Telling the truth. Asking tough questions. Conducting mystical healings that were radical for the time. I speak about this power because it is a power over the death of idols and it is the power of the life through death. Through the purification process of radical love and acceptance is the return to source and the womb of life. Yet in a world where Light has no dominion, but all of the power and strength, we must vow to connect to God daily in order to access it. Therefore we must die daily to the idols of the world. For most religions this comes through prayer.

Furthermore, the knowledge of this hierarchy, as well as its power, is how we conduct the obeisance of death. Meaning, death to idols and of reestablishing right standing with The Most High. Without this daily deference we are disconnected. That is why devotees of meditation preach it and Catholics evangelize the power of the Eucharist. All spiritualists, or those in connection with the Great Spirit, understand that ritual is the key to full communion and transformational power.

La Santa Muerte

This past year my spiritual journey became about death and empathy.

Over the past few months I kept having this nagging feeling to get a statue of La Santa Muerte. Before I get into her back story, you must know that she has been portrayed in the media as a malevolent outcast saint disregarded by mainstream Catholicism used to promote violence, drug use and one to petition for evil. However, for those who have allowed the face of La Madrina’s Holy Death to speak to them, she will challenge you spiritually to see not only the beauty in yourself but also within the people around you.

She also wanted me to not drive around so much trying to control the things I could not control, and to believe in the gifts that were placed in me.

She is the Aztec goddess of death and I am still learning who she is. But one look into the face that I once thought was creepy when I walked past my local Botanica, became a reflection of all that I could be in this life. I never petitioned her, because I did not know her. As a Catholic who writes about the saints and venerates them, I just made her comfortable. Her love came on strong and she wanted me to see my beauty. She wanted me to lean into the call of “healer” and she wanted me to write about the pains of those who could not do it. She also wanted me to not drive around so much trying to control the things I could not control, and to believe in the gifts that were placed in me.

She introduced herself as “La Madrina,” and I cry ever time I think about whatever happened to me that day. See, that was the day my heart truly opened up. If you can love the scary, the ugly, and even the unknown about yourself, you can do the same for others. Reconciling the idea of death is an act of faith — the most powerful one. The Holy Death.

For me, that is the gift of The Holy Death. It is as inexplicable as it should be, but in it, you will find mercy.

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